Honestly, it’s quite hard to put my thoughts on this gig into words. If I tell you that it started with two simple, beautiful songs accompanied only by guitar and violin and ended with a cover of System of a Down’s ‘Toxicity’ that led to a mosh pit which almost broke the Deaf Institute’s floor, then you might have a slight inkling of the journey I went on. But that only tells half of it. I should add in that, while I went along expecting a thoroughly good show, I did think that the gentle nature of Jasmine’s debut album meant that this would probably be a quiet but enjoyable affair and nothing more. I had no idea that I would be leaving and immediately booking tickets to her next Manchester date, messaging fellow music friends to tell them I’d just been at the gig of the year.
So why such an impact? Well, there are a fair few reasons:
One is a personal one, but one I think needs sharing if I am going to review this show honestly. This was my first gig since a pretty rough episode of panic attacks had led me to cancel the last three I was meant to be attending, meaning I walked into the room unsure if I would be able to make it through the show. As much as I enjoyed the opening version of ‘Kitchen’ and the cover of Alex G’s ‘Bobby’, the nervous feeling didn’t leave me until about halfway through ‘Guy Fawkes Tesco Disassociation.’ As a full band joined them on stage, this show really burst into life with a life-affirming rendition of my favourite song from the LP. The joy on the faces of the whole band, but particularly on the face of Jasmine at her hometown show, listening to the whole crowd sing her words back at her, was enough to blow away any reservation I was still feeling.
And it was the camaraderie on stage, that clear display of friendship and love between this band made up entirely of trans women, that really made this such a special show to be at. Stunning versions of ‘Skin on Skin’ and ‘You Are The Morning’ really bought that feeling home, and a raucous ‘Breaking in Reverse’ amped things up again. But it was the performance of ‘Highfield’, and the story that preceded it, which really moved me the most. As Jasmine shared that she had experienced a ‘horrible incident’ outside the venue earlier that day, and discussed how hard it is for a trans woman just to walk down the street in the current climate, she also made it clear how her friends in the band had picked her up and helped her to recover.
She then shared that ‘Highfield’ was actually about the park I live right next to, and how it had been written about her attempts to find peace in nature after previous times when she had felt under threat just for being herself. While that was a horrible thing to hear, the performance, the words, and the bond in the room made it a moment which felt like an honour to witness. And the fact that I have spent much of the last 6 weeks walking round the same park, recovering from my own difficult time, gave me a connection to the song that I’ve rarely felt before.
Any residual sadness was shaken off by a rousing rendition of ‘Tall Girl’, before one of the most heartwarming mosh pits I’d ever seen erupted during ‘Elephant.’ Jasmine had acknowledged how many trans people were in the room on several occasions and, as the crowd converged and starting jumping it felt like an act of defiance to recent law changes that have affected this community.
If that feeling needed to be made any clearer, Jasmine came out for her encore with the song ‘Woman’, where the words ‘Cause I know who I am/And I understand/That I am in my soul a woman’ resonated with every person in the room. I started to leave after that song, sure that we’d had the perfect end to the show. But what do I know? Non-album track ‘Did You Know?’ was as powerful as anything else that night, but nobody could have prepared me for the absolute pandemonium of ‘Toxicity.’
All I can say is, what a fucking show. For reasons that include the musical, the personal, the political, and just the pure love of performance, this was up there with the best shows I can remember and was a perfect way for me to get back in a crowd. Bring on her show at Gorilla in November.
Words by Fran Slater
Picky Bastards 