TOP TEN – Songs I have to listen to because I live with a three year old

Here at Picky Bastards we’re famous* for our discerning tastes, carefully honed after collective decades of fanatical music consumption. Well that’s all about to come crashing down as we let a small child set the playlist. I’d like to offer my apologies but I have to listen to these songs all the time, so it’s me you should be feeling sorry for.


Jax Jones – Breathe (aka ‘dum dum’)

This song came on the radio during a particularly screamy car journey. I made a big deal about it in attempt to cheer or at least distract. It worked well. But how I would come to regret that decision. Spotify wrapped told me I’d listened to it 117 times last year. 117.


Andy and The Odd Socks – Theme from Andy and the Band

Yes it may be a kids’ TV show but they’re a real touring band too. This is the most annoying of their many songs because it’s the one I’ve heard the most, at the start of every episode. The latest series sees them join forces with the ‘godfather’ of rock. Which is Brian May. In a cave. On a faraway planet.


Fleetwood Mac – Everywhere (aka ‘hawoo’)

Can’t complain about this one. It’s on a record I own and enjoy. See also ‘Caroline’, the next track on Tango in the Night.


Gipsy Kings – Bamboleo (aka bum bum wayo)

Not sure how this one became part of the rotation but it will always remind of lockdown any many repeated shouts of ‘BUM BUM WAYO’.


Robyn – Dancing On My Own

Another that at least one parent (me) can get behind. Best appreciated while running round dressed in a towel cape…guess you had to be there for that one.


Nick Cope – The Baby’s Done a Poo

The baby does a poo. The poo smells. What more can I say?


Donovan – Mellow Yellow

I can see the appeal of this one and it’s easy to sing along to. I can kid myself it’s educational – it’s about learning words that rhyme with each other, right?


Idina Menzel – Let it Go (from Frozen)

Yes, this one, obviously. The most overplayed song of the last decade, reviled by parents everywhere. Please, please, please let it fucking go. By the end of the song, Idina Menzel is just shouting. A horrible vocal.


Madness – Cardiac Arrest

Another where I didn’t consider the lasting impact of singing along in attempt to restore happiness. All together now: ‘Don’t you worry / There’s no hurry / It’s a lovely day / Could all be going your way’.


Hey Duggee – Stick Song

STICK STICK STICK STICK STICK STICK STICK STICK STICK STICK STICK STICK STICK STICK STICK STICK STICK STICK STICK STICK STICK STICK STICK STICK STICK STICK STICK STICK STICK STICK STICK STICK STICK STICK STICK STICK STICK STICK STICK STICK STICK STICK STICK STICK STICK.

Words by James Spearing

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